20070619

      I got to the train station this morning a couple hours early for my trip to La Spezia and ultimately Cinque Terra. On arriving at Cinque Terra, I went to the ticket window to get my ticket to Milan for my 2pm flight tomorrow. Except there is no train leaving for Milan tomorrow morning. Had the officer at the ticket window been more helpful, I might have been able to buy a ticket from him to get on the same train as the two old women I allowed to pass me in line, who were also headed to Milan. Instead, I had to scramble to get onto the train in time to be now headed to Milan at an extra EU25 penalty for purchasing my ticket on the train. But, at least I'm on the train and I'll be able to make my flight tomorrow. Now, however, I must cancel my hostel reservation in Cinque Terra to avoid credit card charges (I may have to just eat this mistake), and I need to book a hostel in Milano for the night and find a pot of espresso to drown my sorrows in.
      As a consequence, I've spent the last couple hours on this train with Noam Chomsky as my sole companion, which has left me in an even less cheerful mood. If you're interested in democracy, you should consider reading "Failed States." However, I've set the Chomsky down, less as a cause than as an effect of my new-coming realization that I'm still on vacation, and I'm not allowed to be upset by such horrible things as being forced to visit Milano a day early. So long as I am able to sleep at night and eat in the day, I have reason to be happy. Needless to say, this maxim should apply just as truly to everyday life, which is just a very long vacation which tries often successfully to disguise itself.
      (Hours and hours pass, riding the train and more. Finally I am situated at an outdoor café . . .)
      If Rome was hot yesterday and the day before, I know why; and it leaves the Vatican in an interesting position because the keys to salvation in Heaven and on Earth are held in the midst of Hell. But thankfully for the Pope, Rome is closer to purgatory than Milan, which seems to be the innermost circle of Hell. Before the break, (elipses above), I was on the train after having mistakenly let two old ladies ahead of me in line, and paying a EU25 penalty for doing so. On arriving to Milan, however, I had to find a hostel to sleep at tonight. This should be simple, since every train station has a tourist information desk with hostel information. So I asked an official where this desk would be. I asked no less than 4 different types of information desks, more than 8 businesses, and as many random train-workers as I could find. I even asked the police. I asked the police twice. I asked several times to be guided to this magical place that did not exist because everyone wanted to send me different places, either up the stairs, down the stairs, or across both stairs and outside the rail station. Having been in Milan once already I thought for sure the directions outside the station were a jackpot, since that was where I found the ATM after a similar 20 minute ordeal. However, this time it took me an hour and fifteen minutes to find the information desk. If you look closely, you can find it. It says "tourist infomation." Not finding it? It's also labeled "APT," of course. Still not finding it? Are you crazy? The station's huge and I've given you a picture of just where you need to be looking, if you happened to listen to the 1/4 of the people that directed you to this information place, instead of the many others which actually exist clearly!
      (Time passes as I speak with the wonderful Italian, Romi, who has just joined me at the adjoining table. Incidentally, she tells me that my watch could be had for EU3. I am very skeptical, but eager to try. . . . )
      You can clearly see in this final zoomed picture that below the Telecom / Pietra sign which looks like a cabaret advertisement, there is another sign which clearly reads in small blue font "tourist information." I asked the guy inside at the counter if other tourists had ever spent an hour and fifteen minutes, as I had, looking for his office. He responded that the people in charge of the train station were still operating under the principles of the Communist party. . . . Well, I can cross communism off my list now. Along with the rest of Italy. Truly, if you cannot figure out who is the proper person to pay for what you need, you might as well die in this country. If you want to visit a corrupt second-world country with gorgeous historical monuments of antiquity and a desire to take your money, visit parts of South America. But if you want to go to a place with longer experience and greater desire to rip you off, come to Italy.
      For all those who are still interested in traveling Italy, here are some wistful pictures out the window of the train of what I missed in Cinque Terra. Perhaps next time I will do more travel planning rather than assume that every town will have trains which depart more than once each day.
      In case you're wondering where Italy spends all the money they take from tourists, if they're not spending it on improving the transit system, or on making the "tourist information" sign bigger (FYI, this is only for hostelers. Hotels are very easy to find in Milan.) Here is a picture of how Italy spends their money to upgrade the subways: pictures of the wonderful beauty of Milan appear on a large projection screen television. (just please ignore the immediate surroundings).